If you or someone you know has been raped or sexually assaulted, you may be dealing with a lot of overwhelming feelings. These might include feeling depressed, frightened, guilty, angry, ashamed, low in confidence, numb. Feelings can take over straight after an attack or you may be struggling weeks, months or even years later.

If you have been touched or have been pressurised into touching someone, even when you let them know that you didn’t want to, then you have been sexually assaulted. If someone has had sex (vaginal or anal) with you and you have let them know that you didn’t want to, then you have been raped.

There are a lot of false ideas and myths about rape and sexual assault. If you are feeling confused about your experience or trying to support a friend, the following may help you -

‘I didn’t shout out – in fact I lost my voice and couldn’t move at first. Then I just tried to wriggle away and push him off. Maybe it was my fault – perhaps I should have screamed and hit out…’ You might have let someone know that you didn’t want to continue by using words, sounds, gestures, facial expressions or by trying to move away or struggling. These are all clear signals to stop

• ‘I’m a man, so how can I have been raped?’ Both women and men can be raped or sexually assaulted and it can be hard to recover whether you are male or female

• ‘He’s my boyfriend and we’ve had sex before, so it can’t really have been rape can it?’ Most attacks are carried out by someone you already know – maybe, for instance, a friend, partner, relative, colleague or someone in power, like perhaps a tutor or boss. If the contact has been against your wishes, it is assault or rape

• ‘I haven’t been beaten up so how can that be assault?’ You may not have visible scars after a sexual assault – there is not always other physical violence, but the unwanted sex can hurt your body or your feelings just as much

• ‘I didn’t put up a struggle so I suppose I went along with it really…’There may be no signs of a physical struggle – for instance torn clothes. When some people are threatened with rape they try to avoid further hurt by struggling less. This does not mean that they went along with it

• ‘I was on the pull – all dressed up and out for a laugh – it was fun at first – I wanted a bit of a snog, but then he went too far and wouldn’t stop…’ Whatever you were wearing, however much you had to drink, whether you were using drugs, it doesn’t give anyone the right to go further than you want. Rape and sexual assault is always the fault of the attacker

After a rape or assault

You may need practical support as well as help with your feelings. Use the following information to help you to work out what you need and who can help you:

• A physical check-up -See your GP on a confidential basis

• A physical check up and tests for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) - Visit your local Genito-Urinary Clinic

• Immediate treatment for bruising and other injuries - Visit a hospital casualty department or NHS walk-in centre

• Report the crime to the Police – Rape and sexual assault are against the law. You can report an incident immediately or at any time afterwards. If you do decide to report the crime to the Police, you can also choose to drop the complaint at any point

• Give forensic evidence - If you decide to report to the police immediately, they will be able to take forensic evidence – this is evidence that could help them to prove the identity of the attacker. To do this, a specially trained doctor (you can choose male or female) examines you

• Contact Juniper Lodge – see contact details below. They can give you information and support and will help to arrange a medical examination if you decide that you want to report the assault or rape. They can also take you to the local Genito-Urinary Clinic and can contact Rape Crisis and Victim Support if you want them to

• Help with your feelings – you may want to talk to a friend or family member who you can trust to help you deal with what has happened. Other people who you can talk to in confidence include any of the contacts below as well as counsellors at your College or University

• Sex & Sexuality
• Pregnancy
• Violence
• Abuse

For more information about rape try:

• Rape Crisis

For local and other sources of help:

• Juniper Lodge (0116) 2733330 24 hrs/day, 7days/week - call back service
  Help and support for women who have been sexually assaulted or raped, recently or in the past
  24 hour helpline
  Medical examination by a male or female doctor
  Option to report to the Police
  Support and counselling
  A confidential information and referral service
• Leicestershire Rape Crisis (0116) 2624344, tues-fri 10am-4pm, wed 6.30pm-9pm
• LampDirect
• Samaritans